One Old Dude's Guide to Growing Up Gracefully
  • Blog
  • Published Articles
  • Welcome
    • Dudeism
    • Contact
  • Grate Recipes
  • Ask Wali
  • The Artwork of Brianna Torre
  • MBI Coaches' Summit
  • A Celebration of the Life of Sylvia Schmitt

The Not So Grand Opening of Phase 3 (Part 2)

8/30/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
Friday started off pretty calm. I met up with John, the prince of all things maintenance, to perform the final checks on the four new pools we were opening to the public that evening. John was old school when it came to pool maintenance; he did everything by hand. These new pools came equipped with a fully automated chlorination system that he was having a bit of a hard time wrapping his head around. We went from pool to pool that day testing the ph levels on each. When we arrived at the new hot tub, we were greeted by old Henry and a crowd of his friends who were all ready and waiting to christen the new hot tub. I always thought that Henry had been misnamed at birth and had his parents waited a while, they would have named him Harry because he was one of the hairiest men I had ever seen. Old Henry stepped right up to us and proclaimed that he volunteered to be the first man in the new hot tub. Before we could stop him, he threw off his towel and stepped right in. He submerged himself all the way up to his neck and shouted “I’m number one!” He sat there for a moment with a big smile on his face, and then I asked him, “How’s the water, Henry?” He said, “The water is fine!” and proceeded to exit the tub. Everyone applauded as he stepped out, but then suddenly, the crowd silenced. What we didn’t realize is that since we had not tested that tub yet, we were unaware that it had extremely high acid levels.  As he made his way out of the hot tub, it became very apparent that hairy Henry wasn’t so hairy anymore. In fact, every hair on Henry’s body below his neck had been melted off. After a quick hose down, we determined that besides the radical hair loss, old Henry wasn’t that much worse for wear.

Saturday night was to be the piece de resistance: the ribbon cutting ceremony to officially open Club Fred. The club was packed that night with patrons in scantily clad costumes to celebrate All Hallows Eve for the first time in the new club. I had painstakingly prepared for this ceremony by painting a large pair of old hedge trimming shears with gold paint and stretching a beautiful golden ribbon across the dance floor. I had asked DJ Jesse, “The Legend”, to call up Fred and Randi to officiate and I handed over the microphone and the golden shears to Fred. He then approached the golden ribbon, made a short speech, and attempted to cut the ribbon. Unfortunately, the ribbon remained intact. After an unsuccessful second attempt, he proclaimed, “I’m sure my staff tested this prior to asking me up here.”, which of course I hadn’t. At that point, “The Legend” sprang into action, grabbed a pair of scissors from the DJ booth and by the time he was completing his third attempt, swooped down and cut the ribbon. I’m pleased to say that the rest of the weekend went off without a hitch.

I still look back on the events of that Halloween with a great deal of fondness.  If I had to do it all over again, I think I might have sharpened those damn hedge trimmers, but other than that, I wouldn’t change a thing.

Until next time, keep your trimmers sharp and watch your acid levels, dudes.


0 Comments

    Subscribe to The Dudesletter Monthly Newsletter

    * indicates required
    Picture

    About Wali,
    The Grateful Dude

    In my formative years, I was lucky enough to attend an amazing high school modeled after the freedom school from the Billie Jack films. The curriculum included outdoor education, pottery and organic farming and emphasized values like creativity, self awareness and a strong sense of community. I spent several summers traveling from show to show with The Grateful Dead and found that not only could I beat the crap out of a plastic bucket in a drum circle, I was also quite the imported beer salesman. My early career started off in the eighties driving limousine for posers, drug dealers and wannabe rock stars in Los Angeles. In the late eighties, I was introduced to the former owner of Paradise Lakes Nudist Resort who had just seduced and proposed to my roommate while she was on vacation in Florida. Fred took me aside one afternoon  and told me, “I like you, kid and since I’m taking your roommate and I’m pretty sure you can’t afford this beach rental on your own, why not come on out to Florida? I’ll find you a place to stay, give you a job and you’ll be surrounded by naked women”. So I loaded up my truck and moved to Paradise. Lakes, that is. Swimmin’ pools. Porno stars. (insert banjo solo here).

    I wake up every morning (well almost every morning) knowing that today is a wonderful gift to be unwrapped and explored. I believe that every day is filled with limitless possibilities and endless abundance. I’m convinced that our true purpose in life is to interact with our fellow beings and give witness to this amazing universe that surrounds us.

    If you are searching for miracles in life, you need go no farther than your backyard to realize that we are living in the midst of the greatest miracle of all.

    Archives

    October 2018
    August 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    October 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed