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Hot Tub World Record

5/31/2014

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In the summer of 1990, I had just taken over the position of social director at Paradise Lakes Nudist Resort from the incomparable Mr. Ron Johnson. I knew that I needed to do something spectacular to commemorate the ninth anniversary of the resort, but I didn’t have a clue how I was going to do it. One morning, as I was finishing up my daily drink chip tournament rounds, I was called over to the conversation pool (otherwise known as the Big Ass Hot Tub) by a young couple. They informed me that they had just returned from Hedonism II, a clothing optional resort located in Jamaica. They went on to say that while there, they had taken part in an event to set a world record for the most naked people in a hot tub. They informed me that they were able to fill their clover shaped hot tub with 271 naked people, but even if they had more bodies available, there wasn’t much more room to stuff them in. That’s when it hit me; our hot tub was at least twice the size of theirs and if I could get enough people to participate, we could set a virtually unbreakable record and get some free advertising at the same time. I used all the resources I had available to me (keep in mind that the internet wasn’t a viable option at the time). I posted flyers all over the resort, put a full page ad in the Paradise Parrot (anyone remember The Parrot?) and even placed an ad in the AANR national magazine. I then went after the mainstream media. I put together a tantalizing press release that I knew they couldn’t resist to use as a “teaser” piece on the 5 o’clock news and sent it out to the local television, radio and newspapers.  As expected, they all took the bait, including all three affiliates from the major networks. What I didn’t expect is that somehow the wire services got hold of it and the story went national.  Even a friend of mine in California called to tell me that she saw it on the evening news. On the big day, it felt as if the stars had aligned. The weather was perfect (not surprising for Florida) and you would have thought a plane had crashed into the swimming pool from all the media frenzy going on. The parking lot was filled with multiple trucks and vehicles emblazoned with logos reading NBC, ABC and CBS. I sat down with Fred and briefed him on everything he needed to know and then turned him over to the reporters. Being a natural showman, the interviews went off without a hitch. One thing I didn’t realize is just how long it takes to count and fill a gigantic hot tub with naked folks and what I should have known is what happens when you cram hundreds of naked bodies up against one another for several hours. You couldn’t tell exactly what was going on in there, but from the sound of things, “folks was having a pretty good time”! Thank God the media didn’t seem to catch on, but let’s just say there were some very interesting tales to be told in the nightclub that evening. The final tally was 307 naked people in a hot tub and to my knowledge that record stands to this day.

The next time you find yourself naked and surrounded by several hundred enthusiastic nudists in a hot tub if you can remember only one thing remember this: Keep your friends close and all the other dudes in front of you where you can keep an eye on their hands or not. The Grateful Dude abides, but he does not judge.



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    About Wali,
    The Grateful Dude

    In my formative years, I was lucky enough to attend an amazing high school modeled after the freedom school from the Billie Jack films. The curriculum included outdoor education, pottery and organic farming and emphasized values like creativity, self awareness and a strong sense of community. I spent several summers traveling from show to show with The Grateful Dead and found that not only could I beat the crap out of a plastic bucket in a drum circle, I was also quite the imported beer salesman. My early career started off in the eighties driving limousine for posers, drug dealers and wannabe rock stars in Los Angeles. In the late eighties, I was introduced to the former owner of Paradise Lakes Nudist Resort who had just seduced and proposed to my roommate while she was on vacation in Florida. Fred took me aside one afternoon  and told me, “I like you, kid and since I’m taking your roommate and I’m pretty sure you can’t afford this beach rental on your own, why not come on out to Florida? I’ll find you a place to stay, give you a job and you’ll be surrounded by naked women”. So I loaded up my truck and moved to Paradise. Lakes, that is. Swimmin’ pools. Porno stars. (insert banjo solo here).

    I wake up every morning (well almost every morning) knowing that today is a wonderful gift to be unwrapped and explored. I believe that every day is filled with limitless possibilities and endless abundance. I’m convinced that our true purpose in life is to interact with our fellow beings and give witness to this amazing universe that surrounds us.

    If you are searching for miracles in life, you need go no farther than your backyard to realize that we are living in the midst of the greatest miracle of all.

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