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Take That, eh? 

6/30/2014

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My amazingly intelligent girlfriend and I took a road trip to Washington D.C.  to tour both the Supreme Court and Capitol buildings. During the tour of the Capitol, our tour guide mentioned that the building we were standing in had been rebuilt after being destroyed by fire in 1814. I raised my hand and asked, “What was the cause of the fire?”  I fully expected to hear a response like “a cow kicked over a lantern” or “Dolly Madison was involved in some sort of horrific baking accident”, but she answered, “The War of 1812, of course”. History was one of my favorite subjects back in high school and I vaguely remember studying the War of 1812, but all I can recall is something about Francis Scott Key sitting on a boat in some harbor after some battle in the dawn’s early light writing the Star Spangled Banner. When she mentioned the year 1814, the only thing that came to mind was a song by a dude named Johnny Horton in the late 50’s that went a little something like this: “In 1814, we took a little trip. Along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip. We took a little bacon and we took a little beans and we caught the bloody British in a town in New Orleans”.

When we got back home, I took a deeper look at this war and was blown away by what I discovered. In the early 1800’s, England was at war with Napoleon’s France. The fledgling United States wanted to remain neutral while maintaining trade with France, who at the time was our largest export partner. The English retaliated by intercepting American trade vessels and impressing captured seamen into the British Navy. President Madison, thinking that American troops would be welcomed as liberators (where have I heard that before?), convinced Congress to declare war on England. What Madison really wanted was to pull off a gigantic land grab in Canada in order to facilitate the American expansion west, but what he underestimated was the willingness of the Canadians and the indigenous peoples to fight to make sure that didn’t happen.  

It was interesting to realize how little most Americans actually know about this war. For example, I had never heard that a virtually undefended Washington fell to the British. The English army burnt the Capitol building and then proceeded to the White House where they found the banquet room set for a reception that Dolly Madison had planned to hold that evening. The British officers held their own banquet in which they toasted to their victory and in the morning set the White House ablaze. The whole occupation only lasted about 24 hours. The Battle of New Orleans only lasted about 25 minutes, killing only about 70 U.S., but over 2000 British soldiers. Unfortunately, neither Andrew Jackson nor the British commanders knew that a peace treaty had been signed two weeks earlier.

Some expressions came from this war and became an integral part of the American psyche. “The Fog of War” was coined at this time to describe the musket smoke that filled the battlefields. The Naval ship Constitution was given its nickname “Old Ironsides” by English sailors who believed it must be reinforced with iron as they watched cannon balls either lodge themselves in the hull or drop into the water. The motto of the United States Navy, “Don’t Give Up the Ship”, were the last words uttered by Captain James Lawrence, who then proceeded to die and give up his ship. Maybe the reason that this part of history seems to be forgotten is that after nearly three years of war with our neighbors, the peace treaty just reaffirmed all the exact same boundaries that existed prior to the war and made sure that the Native Americans would never again have the possibility of determining their own fate.

Those dudes who do not study history are doomed to repeat it.  Yet, those dudes who do study history are doomed to stand by helplessly while everyone else repeats it.  


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    About Wali,
    The Grateful Dude

    In my formative years, I was lucky enough to attend an amazing high school modeled after the freedom school from the Billie Jack films. The curriculum included outdoor education, pottery and organic farming and emphasized values like creativity, self awareness and a strong sense of community. I spent several summers traveling from show to show with The Grateful Dead and found that not only could I beat the crap out of a plastic bucket in a drum circle, I was also quite the imported beer salesman. My early career started off in the eighties driving limousine for posers, drug dealers and wannabe rock stars in Los Angeles. In the late eighties, I was introduced to the former owner of Paradise Lakes Nudist Resort who had just seduced and proposed to my roommate while she was on vacation in Florida. Fred took me aside one afternoon  and told me, “I like you, kid and since I’m taking your roommate and I’m pretty sure you can’t afford this beach rental on your own, why not come on out to Florida? I’ll find you a place to stay, give you a job and you’ll be surrounded by naked women”. So I loaded up my truck and moved to Paradise. Lakes, that is. Swimmin’ pools. Porno stars. (insert banjo solo here).

    I wake up every morning (well almost every morning) knowing that today is a wonderful gift to be unwrapped and explored. I believe that every day is filled with limitless possibilities and endless abundance. I’m convinced that our true purpose in life is to interact with our fellow beings and give witness to this amazing universe that surrounds us.

    If you are searching for miracles in life, you need go no farther than your backyard to realize that we are living in the midst of the greatest miracle of all.

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