One Old Dude's Guide to Growing Up Gracefully
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Top Ten Tips to Growing Up Gracefully

3/31/2016

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During the past few years (and I believe the majority of my life), I have been on a sacred quest for knowledge and enlightenment. I have shared many of these adventures here with all (both) of you, but I feel like I am still in the process of fully understanding the true meaning of some of them. Some are so deeply personal to me that I may never be able to put them into words. Nonetheless, I have put together these basic tips that I make every effort to follow in my own life and although I may not be the first human to have pondered many of these time-honored tenets, I do hope one or two of them might come in as handy for you as they have for me.

​10) Dance Naked in the Rain: Try to make your list of "things I did" much longer than the list of "things I never tried". One of the most common regrets of people looking back at their lives is the realization that they have not accomplished many of their dreams. I'm not saying that you have to accomplish all of your dreams, but while you're still healthy, attempt as many as you can.  I promise you won't regret it.

9) Never Take MDMA When it's Just You and Another Dude:
I'm not disclosing exactly how I know this (not that there's anything wrong with that), but let's just say me and a buddy of mine have a hard time making direct eye contact these days. I'm just glad that stuff wasn't around the night I ended up in a hot tub with Ron Jeremy and Jim Varney.

8) Follow Your Bliss:
You can consider yourself living a blessed life if you’ve been lucky enough to find a way to make a living doing something you really love, but the truth is that the majority of working folks out there do not love their job. The good news is that you don't have to; you just have to love your life. So many men in our society have been conditioned to believe that their sole responsibility in life is to bring home the bacon and they inevitably end up regretting all the so-called "little things" they missed out on.

7) Never Take Erectile Dysfunction Medication Unless You Actually Suffer from Erectile Dysfunction: Not many folks know this, but back in the day prior to the invention of the little blue pill, there was an injectable remedy available. It never garnered much popularity due to the fact that just prior to sexual activity, it required one to inject it directly into what I affectionately refer to as "Tiny Dancer". A buddy of mine (you might know him as "The Legend"), convinced a friend of his to let him try out his medication. What started out as a fun evening of working through every position in the Kama Sutra quickly turned into a forty-eight-hour nightmare.

6) Be Sincere. Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say:
I'm not saying you have to be completely honest all the time; everyone loves a well-embellished story now and again, right? Just be proud to show the world your authentic self. It's really the only truly unique thing you have to share.  Always remember to err on the side of joy and happiness.

5) You Never Regret a Walk So Keep Moving:
Everyone knows it's much harder to hit a moving target. I learned this one from my Pop. One day he just sat down and never got back up again. It wasn't due to any physical ailment; he just gave up on walking. Even if you can't run a marathon anymore, try to do something that gets you moving every day.

4) Live Your Happy Thoughts:
Some people say that all you have to do to be happy is to think happy thoughts, but I believe it takes a little more effort than that. Every time someone asks me how I'm doing, I reply, “FanFreakinTastic”, even when I'm having the day from hell.  Somehow it makes my day seem a little less horrible. It's just a matter of creating your own reality.

3) Make New Friends, but Keep the Old:
Make a genuine effort to stay in contact with the people you love. It's easy to get caught up in our own busy lives and lose track of the people who are a big part of who we are today. One of the things that I'm most proud of is the fact that I'm still in contact with many of the friends I made in junior high school. In the end, it all comes down to love and relationships.

2) Get Over Yourself:
 Live in the moment. The past is history and the future does not exist. Stop wasting time worrying about what other people think of you.  The truth is they’re probably not thinking about you at all.  Instead, spend more time disproving all the negative things you believe to be true about yourself.  Make it a point to never hold a grudge and never let a grudge hold you; the only one who is truly hurt by a grudge is the one who holds onto it. My brother's favorite quote is "Don't Sweat the Petty Stuff and Don't Pet the Sweaty Stuff".

1) Surround Yourself with People You Love and People Who Love You: I saved this one for last because I think it is the most important of all. Even if you feel as if you have no one to love, keep in mind that it only takes one, so get off your ass and go find someone. Join a club, be a volunteer or check out a local Meetup group. Community is all around you. You also might want to take a look at the possible reasons why you find yourself sans friends. Remember you have to be a friend in order to have friends. I truly believe that our it’s SOUL purpose for existing in this world is to interact with one another in a loving way.  Remember to laugh long, loud and frequently.
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    About Wali,
    The Grateful Dude

    In my formative years, I was lucky enough to attend an amazing high school modeled after the freedom school from the Billie Jack films. The curriculum included outdoor education, pottery and organic farming and emphasized values like creativity, self awareness and a strong sense of community. I spent several summers traveling from show to show with The Grateful Dead and found that not only could I beat the crap out of a plastic bucket in a drum circle, I was also quite the imported beer salesman. My early career started off in the eighties driving limousine for posers, drug dealers and wannabe rock stars in Los Angeles. In the late eighties, I was introduced to the former owner of Paradise Lakes Nudist Resort who had just seduced and proposed to my roommate while she was on vacation in Florida. Fred took me aside one afternoon  and told me, “I like you, kid and since I’m taking your roommate and I’m pretty sure you can’t afford this beach rental on your own, why not come on out to Florida? I’ll find you a place to stay, give you a job and you’ll be surrounded by naked women”. So I loaded up my truck and moved to Paradise. Lakes, that is. Swimmin’ pools. Porno stars. (insert banjo solo here).

    I wake up every morning (well almost every morning) knowing that today is a wonderful gift to be unwrapped and explored. I believe that every day is filled with limitless possibilities and endless abundance. I’m convinced that our true purpose in life is to interact with our fellow beings and give witness to this amazing universe that surrounds us.

    If you are searching for miracles in life, you need go no farther than your backyard to realize that we are living in the midst of the greatest miracle of all.

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